The Judgment of Quintus
Disaster approaches the Roman Empire. The primitive Britannic
tribes—which are much like their modern counterparts, but with
better teeth—are about to launch a revolt of unimaginable proportions. Realizing
they possess neither the martial nor culinary prowess to conquer Rome, the
Britons have concocted a dastardly plan: to build an army of Anglo Squirrels. When released on Rome, the nefarious
rodentia will consume the city's grain reserves, causing famine—or, should
Romans switch to meat products, high blood pressure—across the nation.
Rome herself is no stranger to Botanical Warfare, having weathered the Great
Squirrel Crises of 27, 29, and 34–40 AD. To solve such problems in the past,
the Romans prayed to Vesta, Goddess of the Hearth and Squirrel Smitery.
Unfortunately, an unknown force has weakened the gods as of late, and Olympus is
being swallowed by the Something. With the heavens in shambles, more and more
Romans are converting to Calpurnipalianism—a mysterious religion which, founded
by and devoted to the empress Calpurnia, has recently attracted a slew of
celebrity adherents, including the famed gladiator Necantio.
After a fateful prophecy, Quintus, assistant publicist to Necantio, finds
himself on a journey to save Rome from the brink of disaster. Can he uncover the
Calpurnipalian Church's deadly secret, restore power to Olympus, and save Rome
from the forces—squirrel and otherwise—that imperil it? He'd certainly
better, for Rome depends on The Judgment of Quintus.
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I'm a notoriously lazy researcher. Accordingly, my writing strategy is pick
something that I already know a lot about and then fill in the blanks by lying.
I've studied Latin (and, by extension, Roman culture) since
middle school, so Rome seemed well-suited for this approach.
An amazing, hardcore team of artists and I have been working on Quintus
since 2006. When it's finally released to the world (say, late 2017), I see two
possible outcomes: (i) the world will change forever and irreversibly, or (ii)
the world will wonder what took us so damn long.